Archive for the ‘Children’ Category

A Mother’s Day—Day—Everyday

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

It’s just a couple of weeks away—

That once a year special designated day,

When most children look for some special way

To make it a very “Happy Mother’s Day”.

Yet I’ve been contemplating the truth

That in old age, the middle years, and even in our youth,

We should and could give our mother’s, a mother’s day– day—everyday.

It all comes down to how we live and play, and in what we say.

Bless your mother each day as you live loving God and others too.

Give her gifts made from love, respect and recognize in each other

—The uniqueness of “YOU”.

Real love is not found in “stuff” – Love can’t be given a  price .

It ‘s a gift given while  spending time together—just  simply in being nice.

You will  bless your mother without delay

When you love one another and just simply walk in God’s way.

For this is the gift I long for each day as I pray —

A mother’s day—day—every day!!!

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Don’t forget to turn the Light on…

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

As some of you know, I am a father of four wonderful children. This weekend I stumbled across an unusual picture my 10 year old daughter Haven drew and left laying on the couch in our living room…it was unusual because it was messy, didn’t show off her abilities, and seemed more chaotic than artistic or purposeful:

Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the dark)

I could tell that it was supposed to be our house but I knew she was capable of more and asked her what the story was regarding the picture.  She told me that she was working on an assignment for Awanas, a Bible study for kids that she attends on Wednesday nights.  She showed me the assignment:

And then she showed me her second picture:

Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the light)

I thought this was an awesome idea for teaching kids what a difference God’s light can make in our lives.  I asked Haven to explain what the lesson was trying to teach and it was clear that she understood. 

Haven paraphrased: “When we try to do things our way we usually make a mess of things and we can’t see things the way they really are or the way they should be but when we turn to the Bible for help God shines his light on our lives and we can learn how to do things His way, which is much better than our way.”

I think the verse the lesson used on the next page was:

Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”

Although it’s not quite in line with the point of the lesson, the verse that came to my mind was:

1 Corinthians 13:11-12 – “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

I am thankful that Haven shared this with me.  It made me stop and ask myself, “Am I drawing in the dark?”

1 Peter 2:9 – But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light

Haven reminded me that the Bible serves as a light to show us what our lives really look like.  We so often want to compare ourselves to others instead of comparing ourselves to God’s standard.  We typically look for someone that is more selfish than us, or mismanages their money worse than us, or lies more than us, or doesn’t help others as much as us (etc.).  It might not be so bad if we compared ourselves to people better than us but our natural tendency is to compare ourselves to the worst examples of human behavior and then we can make ourselves feel better about our poor choices and thoughts.   That’s what living in darkness is all about….it’s us deceiving ourselves and setting our own ‘standard’ (that we simply adjust as we see fit).  However, when we go to the Bible we see a perspective that makes clear the foolishness of our ways and that shines a clear light on the reality of who we are and who God wants to help us to be.

The Bible serves many purposes but one of the primary purposes is to teach us how to live an abundant life full of good deeds.  All we have to do is open the Bible and let God’s wisdom give light to our eyes:

Psalm 19:8 – The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.

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Christmas – Why our family participates (despite the pagan influences)

Friday, December 18th, 2009

GrinchThis post is in response to Drew’s recent post called “Pagan Christmas” but you should also read my previous post on Halloween before you read this post if you want a complete perspective.

I agreed with most everything Drew said in the first paragraph.  There are, of course, many variations on the history depending on the source you reference but I didn’t see anything in Drew’s first section that I hadn’t read before and I have no additional comments.  It’s the paragraph that starts with “I have a few friends” that I would like to comment on:

(Drew’s words are in red and mine are in green)

I have a few friends that don’t celebrate Halloween in regards to its pagan nature and see no value in it. Even though Halloween brings communities together, makes kids laugh, multiplies candy, belittles evil, and is fun, celebrating such a holiday appears to question their moral Christian principles.

My wife and I are some of those friends and yes, we see no value in Halloween.  I address each of the reasons Drew gives as “even though”s in my Halloween post so I am not going to redo that here.  Halloween does not make me question “moral Christian Principles”, it just provides an excellent opportunity to practice them.  ;-)   Please read my Halloween post for a full explanation.

I wonder if the Church had decided to incorporate Samhain (pagan holiday) and Christ’s birth if some Christians would be more apt to celebrate the holiday of Halloween.

The church has already done that…its called “All Saints Day”.  The answer is no, it didn’t make me more apt to celebrate Halloween.  Just because the church sanctions an event doesn’t mean it is worth celebrating or not worth celebrating.  We have to decide for ourselves what we should participate in.  Many churches now celebrate Halloween…in fact, all of the churches I went to growing up celebrated Halloween in some form or another.  I decided to stop ‘celebrating’ because I thought the issues through for myself and my conclusion is fully explained in my Halloween post.

Note: In my Halloween post I don’t mention ‘pagan origins’ as one of the five reasons why I don’t participate….”I am not nearly as interested in the history of Halloween as in what it means today” – the same applies to Christmas symbols and traditions.

It does seem that Christmas (probably due to its commercial push and the multitude of Christian sheep corralled into the stalls of justification) is viewed primarily as a Christian Holiday, and therefore most Christians can celebrate the holiday without a sered conscious.

A sad ChristmasI have to confess (regarding the seared conscience), my wife and I have struggled with whether or not to celebrate Christmas for several years.  Christmas has become such a commercial enterprise and Santa has nearly completely replaced Christ as the focus of Christmas, at least in the malls, public school plays, and around the office.  Christmas was not celebrated by the early church and many of the symbols of Christmas can be traced back to pagan rituals.  To be honest, my wife and I are still sorting this out and don’t feel like we have reached closure (mostly because we don’t agree yet…usually means I’m wrong but rationalizing in my mind so I don’t have to see things the way they really are or the way God sees them).  We actually got rid of the Christmas tree a couple years ago and didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not in the traditional way.  We simply read the Christmas story and tried to focus on helping others (like the original Saint Nicholas).   My family still enjoyed Christmas and it was nice focusing on others but I felt like there wasn’t as much joy and happiness in my home as previous years.  I decided the following year to start celebrating Christmas again for the inverse reasons of why I don’t celebrate Halloween.

I started off my post about Halloween by explaining that even if I didn’t have religious reasons I would still not celebrate the holiday.  The opposite is true of Christmas.  Even if I wasn’t a Christian, I would still see the value in a holiday that celebrates love, family, giving, friends, happiness, beauty, etc.  The whole tone of Christmas is nearly the opposite of Halloween.  I wish I had a picture of some houses in my neighborhood from earlier this year.  One in particular was covered in symbols of evil – demons, zombies, decapitations, blood, and ghosts.  Now, just months later, that house is not decorated at all, but the house next door is decorated with beautiful lights, a smiling Santa Claus, and other symbols of friendship, love, and happiness.

NewPerspectiveDon’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with the materialism, deifying a magical Santa, or other facets of ‘X-mas’ that draw our attention away from Christ.  However, the reason I decided to continue celebrating Christmas and the reason we have put up a Christmas tree this year is because for me personally, Christmas draws my attention back to Christ.  When I see a Christmas tree I think of Christ.  When I sing the famous Christmas carols I think of Christ.  When my family gathers and shares gifts with each other I think of Christ.  I think we each have to ask ourselves:

1.  What are our motivations for the things we do?

2.  What is valuable and worth supporting?

3.  Do we believe what we plan to do will glorify God.

For this reason, I am not upset when someone else chooses to celebrate Halloween, or Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever.  If they believe their motivations are right, that there is value in observing the holiday, and that observing it edifies God, then who am I to disagree…it is between them and God.  For me, I can celebrate the birth of Christ (labeled as Christmas) confidently with those 3 questions in mind…I can not do the same for Halloween.

I suppose (once again) it’s all the Church’s fault.

We are the church.  It’s our fault as individuals.  We have encouraged the whole process all along by singing about Santa, buying gifts beyond our means and with wrong motivations, and submitting to the political correctness of the media and the marketing schemes to promote consumerism.  No worries though…the bible doesn’t forbid or require us to celebrate Christmas so there is nothing to lose.  If Christmas is eventually completely lost in materialism and emptiness it doesn’t change the reality of Christ. If we lose Christmas we have lost nothing.  If we lose Christ we have lost everything.

“Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men.”

Merry Christmas, BoB


Merry Christmas

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Brain Poison

Friday, October 16th, 2009

How much tiold-tv-setme do you spend daily “glued to the tube”? Probably too much. Television can be fun, interesting, and sometimes even educational; nevertheless, it is very harmful to our minds and bodies.

First of all, Americans rarely choose good books over television. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the amount of videos rented daily in America is 6 million. That’s twice the amount of books checked out at the library daily. Books let you imagine characters and places yourself, while television does it all for you. Television is fast-paced while books allow you to absorb what is going on; you can pause and reflect. Also, books can easily be taken everywhere – the dentist, doctor’s, or a road trip – while you can not always have a television. With books you can see authentic literature from early in history, instead of relying on modern television interpretations of those same time periods; for example, you can read the actual words of great teachers, like Confucius, Aristotle, and Plato.

Second, television is full of disturbing images. People flip the channel to their favorite shows, full of innuendo, language and other such negative things. Even kids’ cartoons such as “Tom & Jerry” and “Spongebob Squarepants” show frequent physical aggression. Also, there are the shows that fill our head with horrible items, such as murders. Studies show that by the time the average child reaches middle school, he will have witnessed some 8,000 television murders! No wonder little kids have nightmares. Another thing is the amount of drug usage in television. Drugs are made to look not only acceptable, but cool to kids as well. Many kids’ shows also portray talking disrespectfully towards parents and teachers.

Third, television takes up time that could otherwise be spent on creative endeavors and study time. Wouldn’t you rather be cooking food instead of sitting down to a cooking show? Why would you watch an art show when you could be painting yourself? And then there’s the issue of school studying. The average American child spends 1,680 minutes a week watching television. If it causes your grades to fail, you know you are watching too much. If you feel you must watch television, you should at least spend some of your time on educational shows. Enough is enough!

Most importantly to me, exceeding television guidelines can lead to obesity and eye fatigue. Children who watch too much television are more likely to become overweight. Many times, children are not just watching unhealthy things, while watching they are stuffing their faces with unhealthy things as well. Experts suggest that you never watch more than two hours per day. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be playing sports than watching them? Also, while sitting too close cannot cause eye damage, it can cause eye fatigue. Let’s stay in shape, instead of allowing television to shape us!

While it can be entertaining, we should never allow television to take over our minds and bodies. If we cannot eliminate television from our households, we should at least control how much we watch. Don’t let a little black box rule your life!

TV kid

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Halloween – Why Our Family Doesn’t Participate…

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
Sick of Halloween?

Sick of Halloween?

I enjoyed reading the post by Kyle and I enjoyed Drew’s response as well – both found here.  However, I have a different perspective that I feel compelled to explain.

My perspective has little to do with religion or my Christian faith….although I do have a different perspective than Kyle and Drew for religious reasons as well which I will include in “part 2″ of this post.

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Part 1 – My Non-Religious Perspective:

My perspective is that of a human-being and of a parent.

(more…)

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Media (and the evil flowchart request :-)

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Prior to creating this blog I had an email exchange with a couple friends of mine that I thought might be worth sharing.  Here is my original email:

Bethany and I have been very careful with the media that we bring into our house. We haven’t had cable or satellite TV since Haven was born, we have been careful what DVDs we rent, and we try to live by the policy of “if its not good for our kids to see than its probably not good for us to see” (although we have broken that principal many times). However, when it comes to video games the only thing I have really limited from my kids is first-person-shooters. This weekend I was sitting in my office and Noble was playing a game of BFME with Canaan. He was saying things like:

I’m going to send my Nazgul to kill you

I’m going to use my wizard’s magic powers to destroy your armies

My trolls are more powerful than your goblins.

Anyway, I was sitting there thinking about verses from the Bible like:

1. Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

2. Galatians 5:19-24 – 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

3. Proverbs 22:6 – Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

What I am struggling with is the balance between holiness and legalism. I don’t want to put any unnecessary burden on me or my family. However, I also don’t want to be deceived into thinking that I can honor God and still live as my passions (flesh) directs me. When I am honest with myself, games like BFME feed the “lust of the flesh, the pride of life, and the lust of the eyes”, they are filled with violence, sorcery, and evil characters. They are “fun” but am I honoring Christ as I play them:

1. 1 John 2:16 – For everything in the world–the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world.

2. Galatians 5:16 – So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

3. Ephesians 2:3 – All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.

The question I am trying to answer for myself and that I believe your input could help me in coming to a reasonable conclusion is “What should the boundary be?” In other words, is AOE okay, but BFME is not? On what grounds? Are they both okay or both unwise? This question extends beyond electronic games and includes board games ranging from Chess to Dungeons and Dragons. What are the “triggers” or “characteristics” of “permissible” games versus games that dim the light of my witness and the sensitivity of my conscience to the Holy Spirit? I have witnessed over the years Christians playing every type of first person shooter and magical based rts game on the market, not to mention the pirating of copyrighted software as if there is nothing wrong with it. I am not trying to judge others; it is actually comparing myself to others that has made me think its ok to do those things. It is in comparing myself to scripture that I find myself lacking. I had a short conversation with Bethany about this topic and she is clearly and has been for some time completely against games like BFME and Starwars Galactic Battlegrounds for reasons similar to those stated above. I tried to argue the opposite position (since I enjoy these games and would like to continue playing them) and found myself saying things like:

1. I don’t want to not play just because of some weird kind of legalism and paranoia

2. The Bible has stories filled with violence and frequently describes sorcery and witchcraft

3. Those games aren’t inherently evil…there like money, its not evil on its own, its only what’s going on in your mind that can make it a tool for evil

4. Boys need an outlet….I had toy guns when I was a kid, its not that different

5. Etc, etc, etc….lots of not very convincing arguments

The reason I am so interested in your opinion is that you seem to be able to be objective and honest with yourself and you also seem to care.   (( This is critically important to me, especially as I try to raise my children and be an example to them. As you evaluate the media you watch and the games you play, what criteria do you use to guide your decision regarding what you will and won’t watch/play? What is the logic behind your decision? Do you think it is a null issue? If so, why…it may help free me from further limiting my family’s media options. Do you think I have reason to be concerned? My goal at the end of this is to have a simple list of criteria for both me and my children. If a game or movie meets the criteria than we can play or watch it…if not, then we don’t. I am not even suggesting that all violence is necessarily bad…for example, Shindler’s List or some other movie on the holocaust might be acceptable but Transformers or other movies that glorify violence might not be,…or that all sorcery is evil…maybe Harry Potter is not permitted but Lord of the Rings is fine…but on what grounds? That is what I would like to clarify for myself. Would love your input….sorry for the long rant. Hopefully it all made sense. Hope you have time to respond, BoB

PS – In summary, if you had to make a “flow chart” of the decision process regarding entertainment choices (Movies, Games – both electronic and “old-fashioned”, Music, etc) and what you would or would not expose yourself too, what would it look like:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowchart

No one I originally sent this too liked the flowchart request….I wasn’t trying to create a list of “rules”..only guidelines.  In other words, not a list of specific things that are evil or permitted or desirable…but simply a “what do you ask yourself when making decisions about entertainment” list of questions…apparently this request is upsetting to many people.

I will include the responses I received as comments to this post so you can see what others had to say.  I am working on my “flowchart” and will post it here when I finish.

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Shabbat – September 25, 2009

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

This week’s Shabbat was the first one where the devotion focused on character traits.  I decided to wait before we focus on a specific trait and just talk about character traits in general.  Here is how the flow of the “devotion” went:

  1. First we asked each of the kids what the expression “He/She is a person of character” means?  They each gave interesting and/or entertaining answers.  Our kids are ages 5-12.
  2. We discussed the definition of “character” and we introduced the 49 character traits
  3. My wife gave me an interview while the kids listened to my answers and tried to identify which trait was in question.
  4. Finally, we each circled the 5 traits that we felt like we struggle with the most and shared our choices and reasons with each other.

We had a great time and afterwards my wife and I agreed that it was just as good for us as it was for the kids.

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Character Traits (and Shabbat)

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

As a parent I am always looking for ways to build character in my children (and myself).  My family has just started what I hope will be a tradition called Shabbat.  We are not Jewish but I thought I would include the link so you can see what inspired the idea.  It is our goal to not make Shabbat a legalistic event in our household but rather a time that we look forward to.  We have only had a “Shabbat” a few times now but here is what we do:

1.  We enjoy a delicious meal with no rushing.  The goal is not to “eat and run” but rather to sit and enjoy conversation with those we love.

2.  We do a short devotion.  We have decided that those devotions, at least for now, will be focused on one of 49 character traits.

3.  We stay up late playing board games, cards, talking, or whatever we can that helps us to have authentic connection with each other instead of only proximity (Watching TV for example would have us all sitting in the same room but not interacting with each other…so there will typically be no electronic media during our Shabbats..not a rule but a guideline).

The main thing is that we put aside our anxiety about the week, put life on pause, and enjoy each other.

Didn’t mean to go into so much detail regarding the Shabbat.  I just want to share with everyone a link to some great materials regarding Character – http://www.characterfirst.com/

Much of what I used to prepared for the Shabbats I found on their website….most importantly, a great list of 49 Character traits – http://www.characterfirst.com/assets/Files/49Qualities.pdf

I also like the list as it is presented on this site (I believe they are affiliated with the first site):

http://ati.iblp.org/ati/family/curriculum/characterqualities.pdf?show=true

I would love to hear from you on what you use/do to teach and model Character Traits.

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