I received this video from a friend of mine yesterday and thought it was worth sharing with the group….enjoy:
He mentions his book at the end. I haven’t read it myself but I have heard good things about it and hope to read it soon:
Archive for the ‘Character’ Category
John Lynch – Biola University Chapel
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
Margin: A foundation for happiness
Thursday, December 24th, 2009
I was flying home from Indianapolis last week after a hard week of work and school. I was exhausted and craving time with my family. My plane was on the final approach for Atlanta and it was already dark so all I could see were the lights of homes and businesses spreading out all the way to the horizon.
I began to think about all the people, striving to own a little more land, a little bigger house, and a nicer car. I started thinking about all the stress and anxiety that must exist just below me because of the down economy, strained relationships, hectic schedules, etc. I also wondered how much happiness, joy, contentment, and fulfillment I was flying over. I began to think about my own happiness and the goals I have set for my life and for my family. I realized that what I am craving in life is not more money or success but simply time with my family (specifically time when I am not preoccupied with financial burdens, distracted by work, or cranky from exhaustion, stress, and personal commitments).
I realized that what I am craving is simply “margin”. There are many definitions of margin but I am referring to this kind of margin:
“An amount beyond what is needed”
I realize that most people (including myself) rarely strive after margin. We strive after promotions, bonuses, improvements, and upgrades (i.e. – a better paying job, a bigger house, a newer widget, etc). 
Sometimes we are trying to impress our ______, sometimes we perceive that we need a new ______ to make us happy, and sometimes we are just chasing after______ because we don’t know what else to chase after.
I listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio sometimes and one of the things I have noticed repeatedly is that when people call in to announce amazing amounts of debt that they have paid off, it doesn’t seem to matter how much their annual income is….they all sound intensely happy. Why are they so happy? They are typically earning the same annual income now as they were before they were out of debt so the only good explanation I can come up with is MARGIN. Now, whether they make $17,000 a year or $170,000 a year, they have “An amount beyond what is needed”. I hear the extreme happiness in their voices and I know that what I should be striving for is not more but less.
It seems that the two prerequisites for margin are needing less (surplus) and wanting less (contentment).
SURPLUS – No matter how much money a person makes, if their monthly expenses consume all (or more) of their monthly income then they will usually be stressed out and unhappy. Margin by definition is having a surplus. We would all like to make more but that is much harder to accomplish than making changes so that we will need less.
CONTENTMENT – a feeling or state of being satisfied with one’s possessions, status, and situation in life. Nothing changes in our external world, we simply have a new perspective that makes us appreciative of what we have instead of focused on what we don’t have.
This idea of margin is not limited to our finances. For example, my wife and I found that our family was suffering from having no margin in our schedules about a year ago. It took some time to implement the changes but we were able to free up time in our schedules by cutting out things that didn’t add value to our relationships or our goals. Free time = margin in our schedules = peace.
As we head into this new year, I hope for myself, my family, and for each of you, a year of increased margin in all areas of life.
Blessings, BoB
PS – Just a couple last thoughts on this topic: I am not suggesting that we should avoid taking better jobs or making more money…we should just try to lower our “marginal propensity to consume”. A bigger shovel is better but not if the pile we have to scoop becomes too heavy to lift
I am also not suggesting we should avoid responsibility or commitments…we should just make sure we set boundaries regarding our time so that we are committed to and responsible for the things most important to us instead of every distraction the world puts in front of us. We are called to be good stewards..not just with our money but with our time, talents, relationships, and other resources.
Is it possible to please God?
Monday, December 7th, 2009What’s on Bethany’s mind: What does God “highly esteem”?
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
I came across this in my reading today, and the second part of the verse really jumped out at me.
Luke 16:15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.
So what do you all think “for that which is highly esteemed among men” is referring to? Hmm . . . things highly esteemed among men . . .
I asked my older two children to name some things they think are highly esteemed by men. It was interesting to hear from a child’s perspective what they think are the most valued things by adults. Here are some of their answers:
Fame (For Being an Athlete, Movie Star, Politician, or Really Smart Person)
Wealth (Fancy House, Fancy Cars, Expensive Jewelry)
Success (Everyone thinks you rock)
Sports
Fitness
Good Looks
Love
Center of Attention
Career
Wardrobe
Glamorous Lifestyle (Travel, Fine Dining, Yachts)
So anyway, it got me to thinking. We are so “programmed” and brainwashed by our culture to value the same things the rest of the “world” values. It makes me wonder . . . how much of what we are unconsciously ( and even worse, CONSCIOUSLY) striving for does the Lord see as an abomination? I have a feeling that most of what we place importance on God sees as idols in our lives. I am wondering from all of you, what do YOU think this verse means? What do YOU think ” the things highly esteemed by man” in the verse is referring to? What do you think God “highly esteems”?
Contrast: Nidal Hasan vs Pervaiz Masih
Thursday, November 12th, 2009I was doing my routine scan of today’s headlines and stumbled across a video on CNN that I think is the ultimate contrast to the recent events at Fort Hood. Instead of a wealthy, educated, Jihadist targeting non-Muslims, this story is about a poor, illiterate, Christian saving Muslims – both died living out their faith. Not sure if it fits in with the other content on this site but I thought it was worth passing on:
Here is another video I found on YouTube (not in English but gives a better view of what that day was like):
Just for reference…here is a video of the massacre at Fort Hood:
Constructive Discussions about Truth
Friday, November 6th, 2009
Putting together the pieces of our "world view"
I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine the other night…a friend that is struggling in his pursuit of truth. I value his opinion and his passion for truth but I frequently find myself worried about him and what conclusions he will come to as he redefines his world view. I am worried because I know the importance of our worldviews in determining the decisions we make and the outcomes we experience.
So what does that have to do with “constructive discussions about truth”? Everything!!
Currently “Our Search for Truth” is slanted heavily towards a Christian worldview because the current participating authors happen to be various varieties of Christians. However, the goal of this site is not to sit around talking in Christianese. The goal of this site is pursuing truth by sharing our different perspectives and worldviews. It is my belief that when multiple people’s perspectives rub against each other the friction that is created by their differences exposes misperceptions and the truth is ultimately revealed. The Truth is what remains when all options are explored and all lies are exposed.
As a Christian I am frequently a witness to conversations where fellow Christians seem threatened or irritated by a non-Christian’s disbelief or their differing world view. Instead of responding with understanding and patience they judge, belittle, preach, or otherwise offend the nonbeliever.
Now before the “anti-Christians” get too excited about pointing their fingers in agreement with my last statement they need to be honest with themselves and admit that they are often just as guilty of destroying any opportunity for rational discussion.
What do you mean you think Halloween is evil?
For example, go to YouTube and find a “Christian” or an “Atheist” video. You won’t have to look far before you find an Atheist writing horrible, aggressive expletives meant to demean and ridicule the Christian. Then, right above or below their comment will be the immature Christian saying something like “You’ll burn in hell for that” or maybe something slightly nicer like “Repent and God may have mercy on your soul” (as if they know God is on their side in the discussion) – here are 32,000 examples.
For Christians:
Where does God stand on this issue? The Bible says that God did not send his son into this world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him. The Bible also says that God loved us while we were yet sinners….meaning God loved us before we liked Him, acted like Him, or thought like Him. The Bible portrays a Jesus that hung out with sinners, went to social events with “non-believers”, encouraged prostitutes to start over and give life another try, and as someone who always befriended the poor, down-trodden, and even the people that most everyone hated (like tax collectors). Where are the Christians that serve that Jesus? Where are the Christians that welcome uncomfortable conversations filled with opposing truth claims?
For non-Christians:
But what if you are an atheist or agnostic (or a believer in some other religion) and don’t really care what the Bible says or what Jesus was like? Does that give you free liberty to purposely offend (or avoid) Christians every chance you get? Now I can’t speak to “non-believers” on any particular moral grounds since, as some would argue, they have no moral system to leverage as a foundation. But, from what I understand of the “new atheists” they believe that there are intrinsic universal values (that have nothing to do with a creator) that tell us right from wrong and that form the basis for a humanistic code of ethics. Does your personal code of ethics (or conscience) lead you to believe it is better to try to understand others or does it lead you to believe you should drown out all ideas contrary to your own?
For everyone:
I am assuming that most people that have taken the time to read this far would agree with the 5th habit of Steven Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”:
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
He calls this concept the Principle of Mutual Understanding. Here is the summary provided by Wikipedia for Habit 5:
Habit 5 – Principle of Mutual Understanding: Covey warns that giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in that advice being rejected. Thoroughly listening to another person’s concerns instead of reading out your own autobiography is purported to increase the chance of establishing a working communication.
The mission of OS4T is to “provide an open forum to share and discuss truth”. The prerequisite for an effective forum is “working communication”. I am hoping that as this site matures it will attract people with vast differences in beliefs that all share these four traits in common:
- A commitment to seek first to understand before you try to be understood
- Respect for others even when you vehemently disagree (and a willingness to agree to disagree)
- A commitment to share and discuss with intellectual and emotional honesty.
- A desire to pursue the truth even if it isn’t leading you where you thought it would
Back to my friend:
What does all this have to do with my friend? Here is what is going on in my mind that has me concerned:
- I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God that equips us for good works and abundant living and that its message of salvation is true.
- Most Christians that my friend interacts with are not open to brutally honest dialog with someone who is struggling with tough questions about God and purpose.
- This is good for the Atheists and, if they are right, it helps prevent my friend from wasting time on a non-existent God….but, if the Christian worldview is true, my friend will miss out on an opportunity to experience that truth. If I am right about the Bible being true, how will my friend arrive at the same conclusion if he comes to despise the hypocrisy, unauthenticness, and defensiveness of Christians?
For Christians:
God is not afraid of a lack of faith….He loved us while we were yet sinners….before we had faith. God “draws us to repentance by His kindness”. The only hope I have for my friend at this point is that he will experience the kindness of God even if he doesn’t experience the kindness of God’s people. I am begging you, if you are a Christian reading this post, please respond with gentleness to any anger, bitterness, loneliness, frustration or confusion a person may have that lacks your same faith. Before you “preach”…listen. Before you judge…love. Before you condemn….forgive. Before you slander…pray. Before you speak, think. Think about who you were the moment before you submitted your life to Christ. Think about the grace and love you experienced from God and from the person who led you to Truth. Pass that same Grace, and Love, and Truth on to someone else…not by nagging and judging but through understanding and kindness.
We are commanded by Christ to love our enemies and to do good to those who hate us. We don’t have to feel threatened or get defensive when someone thinks or feels differently than us. The Truth is the Truth. The truth is not afraid of being “found”. If you are so confident that you know the truth then why not share with others by first hearing them out and understanding them. Once you understand them you will be better prepared to explain why you think differently (if you still do after hearing them out).
For non-Christians:
The same goes for the Atheist…just for different reasons. You may not be motivated by devotion to Christ to love your enemies and to respond to them with kindness but if you truly believe you are right then it seems like you would want to share the reasons why you think Atheism is the truth. If Christians are ignorant and disillusioned in their beliefs then only rational dialog (tempered with kindness) will persuade them to see things your way. There can’t both be a God and not be a God. Someone is wrong and someone is right but, no matter who is right, there is no reason we can’t treat each other with respect and agree to disagree as we both pursue the same thing – TRUTH.
Blessings, BoB
PS – This post focuses on Christians and Atheists but the same thing holds true for agnostics, Muslims, Buddists, Hindus, etc. We can share our experiences and thoughts with respect and understanding….even if we never persuade each other to our way of thinking.
LET THE CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT TRUTH BEGIN
One Hypocrite, Coming Right Up!
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
(Disclaimer: For the purposes of this post, I will be making an analogy between a vegetarian hypocrite and a Christian hypocrite. I in no way mean to imply that vegetarianism equates to Christianity, or that carnivores are carnal. I am merely trying to draw a parallel between those who are inconsistent in beliefs and behavior.)
I heard about a new kind of sandwich the other day that truly intrigues me. It is served by a burger joint called “Fatburgers”, and is apparently a frequently requested order by some of the regulars. The main two components of the sandwich are a veggie-based burger and . . . bacon. That’s right, bacon! It is no wonder the sandwich is affectionately dubbed “The Hypocrite” by all who order it.
Upon hearing about this new concoction in the burger world, I was incredulous! Why would someone bother ordering a meatless burger patty if they were going to ultimately top it with greasy bacon? It seemed to me that if one were planning on consuming pork strips anyway, why not go ahead and order a fat-laden red meat burger to go under them? “The “Hypocrite” burger was obviously being marketed specifically to vegetarians with an identity crisis. And then it dawned on me that this is how God must see our “hypocrite” souls as well. Allow me to elaborate.
According to the dictionary, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, or a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. The way I see it, the vegetarian who orders bacon on top of their meatless burger is probably doing so for one of two reasons. One, he is not fully decided or committed to vegetarianism because he or she is not fully convinced that it is the best way to live. Or two, the person absolutely believes that vegetarianism is the best way to live and is having a temporary lapse of resolve. As odd as ordering a bacon-topped veggie burger may seem, it is not all that different from the Christian hypocrite – that is, professors of Christ with who have an identity crisis much like the bacon-ordering vegetarian. We as Christians proclaim this and that, declaring all manner of standards and guidelines publicly, only to fall seriously short of those standards in our private thoughts and actions. This inconsistency is repulsive to our Lord in several ways.
The first kind of inconsistency is more about the person that has trouble making up their mind about the right way to live. (i.e. the person who hasn’t decided if they want to fully embrace vegetarianism or not. . . not unlike the man who has not fully made up his mind about the path to be taken). This reminds me of a couple of passages from scripture. The first one speaks of the double-minded man:
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (James 1:2-8).
So the double-minded man is one who can not make up his mind or fully commit with all of his heart. Hmmm . . . Bacon or no bacon? Do I really want to be a vegetarian? Or, similarly, should I fully commit to Christ and live accordingly or not? The double- minded man is a doubter who struggles with full-blown commitment and will often appear inconsistent to those around him. God has a special category for these types of followers. These type of people are the “Lukewarm Fence Straddlers”:
15I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou were cold or hot.
16So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16)
“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24
Because the double-minded man is indecisive, he tries to have one foot on God’s side of the fence while keeping one foot grounded in the carnal world. Or, to keep the analogy going, he orders bacon on his veggieburger
The second kind of inconsistency is the darker of the two, in my opinion. This kind of wavering is specifically about the person who wholly knows the right thing to do, and often tells others, while secretly not following through on their own convictions. (i.e. the person who has unreservedly decided to declare vegetarianism as law, and loudly proclaim it to all, but orders bacon on their veggie-burger when they think no one who knows them is watching).
God wants us to be people of integrity – people whose private thoughts and actions must be congruent with what we are teaching and preaching to others. Jesus’ main beef (isn’t that a convenient twist on words?) with the Pharisees was the gap between who they claimed to be and who they actually were. The key here is that the Pharisees were condemning others of shortcomings while privately sinning themselves:
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5 KJV)
The purpose of this post is not to scream “Hypocrite!” at any of you. Nor is it to convince anyone to become a vegetarian (which I am not). When I heard about “The Hypocrite” burger at “Fatburgers” it called my attention to the meaning of the word itself and caused me to reflect on the areas of hypocrisy that rule my life. I encourage each of you to do the same. Are there any areas in your life that you are double-minded or straddling the fence about? Or, are there areas that you are completely decided about and yet willfully violating God’s word and commandments in your life?
5Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? (2 Corinthians 13:5)
31(AG) But if we judged[h] ourselves truly, we would not be judged. 32But when we are judged by the Lord,(AH) we are disciplined[i] so that we may not be(AI) condemned along with the world. (1 Corinthians 11:31-32)
As for Fatburgers, I predict no trouble with double-mindedness on my next visit. I have already decided what my order will be. No veggie burgers with sprouts for me. Give me an extra juicy double cheeseburger. With bacon, please!
Decision Making Flowchart
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009I know, I know, you have been eagerly anticipating the media flowchart follow-up post. Well, here it is. This post is in response to a previous thread…start HERE if you would like the background leading up to this post.
The Decision Making Flowchart
I won’t restate everything that has already been discussed, but in summary, I was looking for some guidance from my friends on how they evaluate what media (TV, Movies, Computer Games, etc) they decide to watch and what media they decide to allow/encourage their children to participate in. As part of the discussion, I asked everyone to come up with a “flowchart” that visually captured their decision making thought process. (Nobody seemed to like this idea primarily because each individual scenario is so unique and the Bible is just not that clear about specific situations, especially involving media choices, since none of those options were available to people of Bible times)
I have decided that my original scenario was too specific. I got to thinking that there must be some general guidelines available to help us make most any decision, including media decisions. I did some searches on the Internet and found lots of interesting ideas but, coincidentally, or providentially (depending on your worldview), the church I attend started a series the week of that post called “Your Move”, which I feel best addressed my question of all the ideas I was exposed to. I have incorporated those ideas and some of my own to create my “Decision Making Flowchart”.
However, before I get to the flowchart I want to share one of the quotes (by Frank Outlaw) I stumbled across while researching ideas for the flowchart:
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.I thought this was an interesting idea. Our decisions are guided by our thoughts. If we want to make good choices than we have to start with good thoughts. Our thoughts are tied to our beliefs and how we see the world (our worldview). I will probably discuss this idea more in a future post. For now, I just want to draw attention to the idea that my decision making flowchart should work well for anyone, but if your view of reality is flawed, and you put flawed thoughts into the steps of the flow chart, you will get flawed recommendations out. With that in mind, here is my latest draft of the flowchart:
The Decision Making Flowchart
God takes full responsibility for a life wholly yielded and devoted to Him – Charles Stanley
Notes on the four questions:
1. Am I being completely honest with myself? (Why am I doing this, really?)
The point of this question is to help you identify your true motivations. Before you can make a wise decision you have to make sure you are dealing honestly with reality and your emotions. To help expose if you are being honest with yourself or deceiving yourself, you could ask yourself, “Why do I want to do this, really?”
2. What story do I want to tell?
Someday, when you are recounting the story of this decision to your friends and family, what story do you hope you will tell?
3. Is there a tension that I need to pay attention to?
If you feel a tension regarding one of the options, don’t suppress it, make it as big as you can in your mind and deal with it. The tension is probably real…is your decision illegal, is it going to potentially hurt someone physically or emotionally, is it dishonest or selfish…if you feel some tension, make sure you understand why…and DON’T IGNORE IT!
4. What would be most honoring to God?
This question doesn’t apply to you if you are an atheist but for the rest of us, this question often immediately makes the best decision clear (but not always easy).
Please leave a comment if you found this useful, flawed, or irritating. If you have a great idea for a modification or enhancement please let me know.
The flow chart is built primarily from concepts I learned while attending North Point Community Church. You can learn more about the four questions in the series titled “Your Move“, available for free from North Point Community Church.
The final question about “what is the wise thing to do” comes from a series titled “Best Question Ever”, click on the image below to order the DVD:
I realize the flowchart is not technically correct in the use of the symbols and connections but I found a simplified flowchart to be more effective for the purposes of this post. If it really bothers you please feel free to “fix” my flowchart and I will post yours as well.
Blessings, BoB
Integrity-The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality
Thursday, October 1st, 2009I have been reading “Integrity – The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality” by Dr. Henry Cloud (the same guy who wrote “Boundaries”). I still have a ways to go but I thought I would start posting some of my notes here in case anyone is interested. The notes were originally written for me as “memory helpers” so they my seem a little scatter-brained or overly summarized…but if you take your time and think about each topic there is a wealth of wisdom in much of what Dr Cloud has to say. If you would like more meat I would encourage you to purchase his book.
Here are my notes (please reply to this post if you have any questions or comments):
Media (and the evil flowchart request :-)
Monday, September 28th, 2009Prior to creating this blog I had an email exchange with a couple friends of mine that I thought might be worth sharing. Here is my original email:
Bethany and I have been very careful with the media that we bring into our house. We haven’t had cable or satellite TV since Haven was born, we have been careful what DVDs we rent, and we try to live by the policy of “if its not good for our kids to see than its probably not good for us to see” (although we have broken that principal many times). However, when it comes to video games the only thing I have really limited from my kids is first-person-shooters. This weekend I was sitting in my office and Noble was playing a game of BFME with Canaan. He was saying things like:
I’m going to send my Nazgul to kill you
I’m going to use my wizard’s magic powers to destroy your armies
My trolls are more powerful than your goblins.
Anyway, I was sitting there thinking about verses from the Bible like:
1. Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
2. Galatians 5:19-24 – 19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
3. Proverbs 22:6 – Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
What I am struggling with is the balance between holiness and legalism. I don’t want to put any unnecessary burden on me or my family. However, I also don’t want to be deceived into thinking that I can honor God and still live as my passions (flesh) directs me. When I am honest with myself, games like BFME feed the “lust of the flesh, the pride of life, and the lust of the eyes”, they are filled with violence, sorcery, and evil characters. They are “fun” but am I honoring Christ as I play them:
1. 1 John 2:16 – For everything in the world–the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does–comes not from the Father but from the world.
2. Galatians 5:16 – So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
3. Ephesians 2:3 – All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
The question I am trying to answer for myself and that I believe your input could help me in coming to a reasonable conclusion is “What should the boundary be?” In other words, is AOE okay, but BFME is not? On what grounds? Are they both okay or both unwise? This question extends beyond electronic games and includes board games ranging from Chess to Dungeons and Dragons. What are the “triggers” or “characteristics” of “permissible” games versus games that dim the light of my witness and the sensitivity of my conscience to the Holy Spirit? I have witnessed over the years Christians playing every type of first person shooter and magical based rts game on the market, not to mention the pirating of copyrighted software as if there is nothing wrong with it. I am not trying to judge others; it is actually comparing myself to others that has made me think its ok to do those things. It is in comparing myself to scripture that I find myself lacking. I had a short conversation with Bethany about this topic and she is clearly and has been for some time completely against games like BFME and Starwars Galactic Battlegrounds for reasons similar to those stated above. I tried to argue the opposite position (since I enjoy these games and would like to continue playing them) and found myself saying things like:
1. I don’t want to not play just because of some weird kind of legalism and paranoia
2. The Bible has stories filled with violence and frequently describes sorcery and witchcraft
3. Those games aren’t inherently evil…there like money, its not evil on its own, its only what’s going on in your mind that can make it a tool for evil
4. Boys need an outlet….I had toy guns when I was a kid, its not that different
5. Etc, etc, etc….lots of not very convincing arguments
The reason I am so interested in your opinion is that you seem to be able to be objective and honest with yourself and you also seem to care. (( This is critically important to me, especially as I try to raise my children and be an example to them. As you evaluate the media you watch and the games you play, what criteria do you use to guide your decision regarding what you will and won’t watch/play? What is the logic behind your decision? Do you think it is a null issue? If so, why…it may help free me from further limiting my family’s media options. Do you think I have reason to be concerned? My goal at the end of this is to have a simple list of criteria for both me and my children. If a game or movie meets the criteria than we can play or watch it…if not, then we don’t. I am not even suggesting that all violence is necessarily bad…for example, Shindler’s List or some other movie on the holocaust might be acceptable but Transformers or other movies that glorify violence might not be,…or that all sorcery is evil…maybe Harry Potter is not permitted but Lord of the Rings is fine…but on what grounds? That is what I would like to clarify for myself. Would love your input….sorry for the long rant. Hopefully it all made sense. Hope you have time to respond, BoB
PS – In summary, if you had to make a “flow chart” of the decision process regarding entertainment choices (Movies, Games – both electronic and “old-fashioned”, Music, etc) and what you would or would not expose yourself too, what would it look like:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flowchart
No one I originally sent this too liked the flowchart request….I wasn’t trying to create a list of “rules”..only guidelines. In other words, not a list of specific things that are evil or permitted or desirable…but simply a “what do you ask yourself when making decisions about entertainment” list of questions…apparently this request is upsetting to many people.
I will include the responses I received as comments to this post so you can see what others had to say. I am working on my “flowchart” and will post it here when I finish.