I thoroughly enjoyed this week’s message at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA but more importantly, I realized that the intended audience was people like me….people that have been so focused on God’s personal and moral law that we have been distracted from understanding and participating in God’s global purposes. The message is a call to “good Christians”….great, you are living right….but what about the Ninevites?
I have embedded the video above from Northpointonline.tv If you don’t see it then the link is no longer valid…your best bet will be to go to http://www.northpoint.org/messages and look for the White Flag Series. It’s worth your time…I highly recommend the whole series but I was particularly impacted by part 3.
Last night I watched the movie Luther with my family. I knew a little of the history of Martin Luther prior to watching, but the movie helped set the historical context and exposed many more of the issues that were going on in the church and in politics at that time. I was also amazed to learn that Luther translated the Bible into German by himself because he wanted people to have direct access to the scriptures in their native language. After watching the movie I wondered what was in the 95 Theses that ticked the Catholic church off so bad and unraveled that part of the world in such a way that over 100,000 people died in the Peasant’s War. I always thought what upset the Catholic church the most was the loss in revenue they received when people no longer placed value on indulgences, but the movie and Wikipedia seem to support that the Catholic church was equally bothered by Luther providing people with personal access to a Bible they could understand and for the theological claims he made about grace and relationship with Christ.
I highly recommend the movie. Based on the historical details of the account as captured on Wikipedia, the movie appears to have stayed true to history, down to some pretty specific details. For example, the speech that Luther gives at the Diet of Worms is quoted verbatim from historical accounts. If you have never read the 95 Theses, they are pasted below. As you read through each point, if you confidently and adamantly disagree with anything Luther wrote, please reply with a comment stating the # of the item you disagree with and why.
Before you read the 95 Theses, you need to understand what an ‘indulgence’ was/is…here is a brief explanation for those who don’t know:
Indulgence - The practice by which a person could pay money to the church or do a good deed and obtain remission of the temporal punishment due to sin. (often this meant purchasing forgiveness of sins for a dead relative so they would spend less time in purgatory)
Also, here is a quick recap on Martin Luther, also found on Wikipedia:
Below is the English translation of the 95 Theses Luther posted on the doors of the castle church in Wittenberg Germany in 1517:
1. When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, “Repent” (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.
2. This word cannot be understood as referring to the sacrament of penance, that is, confession and satisfaction, as administered by the clergy.
3. Yet it does not mean solely inner repentance; such inner repentance is worthless unless it produces various outward mortification of the flesh.
4. The penalty of sin remains as long as the hatred of self (that is, true inner repentance), namely till our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
5. The pope neither desires nor is able to remit any penalties except those imposed by his own authority or that of the canons.
6. The pope cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring and showing that it has been remitted by God; or, to be sure, by remitting guilt in cases reserved to his judgment. If his right to grant remission in these cases were disregarded, the guilt would certainly remain unforgiven.
7. God remits guilt to no one unless at the same time he humbles him in all things and makes him submissive to the vicar, the priest.
8. The penitential canons are imposed only on the living, and, according to the canons themselves, nothing should be imposed on the dying.
9. Therefore the Holy Spirit through the pope is kind to us insofar as the pope in his decrees always makes exception of the article of death and of necessity.
10. Those priests act ignorantly and wickedly who, in the case of the dying, reserve canonical penalties for purgatory.
11. Those tares of changing the canonical penalty to the penalty of purgatory were evidently sown while the bishops slept (Mt 13:25).
12. In former times canonical penalties were imposed, not after, but before absolution, as tests of true contrition.
13. The dying are freed by death from all penalties, are already dead as far as the canon laws are concerned, and have a right to be released from them.
14. Imperfect piety or love on the part of the dying person necessarily brings with it great fear; and the smaller the love, the greater the fear.
15. This fear or horror is sufficient in itself, to say nothing of other things, to constitute the penalty of purgatory, since it is very near to the horror of despair.
16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven seem to differ the same as despair, fear, and assurance of salvation.
17. It seems as though for the souls in purgatory fear should necessarily decrease and love increase.
18. Furthermore, it does not seem proved, either by reason or by Scripture, that souls in purgatory are outside the state of merit, that is, unable to grow in love.
19. Nor does it seem proved that souls in purgatory, at least not all of them, are certain and assured of their own salvation, even if we ourselves may be entirely certain of it.
20. Therefore the pope, when he uses the words “plenary remission of all penalties,” does not actually mean “all penalties,” but only those imposed by himself.
21. Thus those indulgence preachers are in error who say that a man is absolved from every penalty and saved by papal indulgences.
22. As a matter of fact, the pope remits to souls in purgatory no penalty which, according to canon law, they should have paid in this life.
23. If remission of all penalties whatsoever could be granted to anyone at all, certainly it would be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to very few.
24. For this reason most people are necessarily deceived by that indiscriminate and high-sounding promise of release from penalty.
25. That power which the pope has in general over purgatory corresponds to the power which any bishop or curate has in a particular way in his own diocese and parish.
26. The pope does very well when he grants remission to souls in purgatory, not by the power of the keys, which he does not have, but by way of intercession for them.
27. They preach only human doctrines who say that as soon as the money clinks into the money chest, the soul flies out of purgatory.
28. It is certain that when money clinks in the money chest, greed and avarice can be increased; but when the church intercedes, the result is in the hands of God alone.
29. Who knows whether all souls in purgatory wish to be redeemed, since we have exceptions in St. Severinus and St. Paschal, as related in a legend.
30. No one is sure of the integrity of his own contrition, much less of having received plenary remission.
31. The man who actually buys indulgences is as rare as he who is really penitent; indeed, he is exceedingly rare.
32. Those who believe that they can be certain of their salvation because they have indulgence letters will be eternally damned, together with their teachers.
33. Men must especially be on guard against those who say that the pope’s pardons are that inestimable gift of God by which man is reconciled to him.
34. For the graces of indulgences are concerned only with the penalties of sacramental satisfaction established by man.
35. They who teach that contrition is not necessary on the part of those who intend to buy souls out of purgatory or to buy confessional privileges preach unchristian doctrine.
36. Any truly repentant Christian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without indulgence letters.
37. Any true Christian, whether living or dead, participates in all the blessings of Christ and the church; and this is granted him by God, even without indulgence letters.
38. Nevertheless, papal remission and blessing are by no means to be disregarded, for they are, as I have said (Thesis 6), the proclamation of the divine remission.
39. It is very difficult, even for the most learned theologians, at one and the same time to commend to the people the bounty of indulgences and the need of true contrition.
40. A Christian who is truly contrite seeks and loves to pay penalties for his sins; the bounty of indulgences, however, relaxes penalties and causes men to hate them — at least it furnishes occasion for hating them.
41. Papal indulgences must be preached with caution, lest people erroneously think that they are preferable to other good works of love.
42. Christians are to be taught that the pope does not intend that the buying of indulgences should in any way be compared with works of mercy.
43. Christians are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the needy does a better deed than he who buys indulgences.
44. Because love grows by works of love, man thereby becomes better. Man does not, however, become better by means of indulgences but is merely freed from penalties.
45. Christians are to be taught that he who sees a needy man and passes him by, yet gives his money for indulgences, does not buy papal indulgences but God’s wrath.
46. Christians are to be taught that, unless they have more than they need, they must reserve enough for their family needs and by no means squander it on indulgences.
47. Christians are to be taught that they buying of indulgences is a matter of free choice, not commanded.
48 Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting indulgences, needs and thus desires their devout prayer more than their money.
49. Christians are to be taught that papal indulgences are useful only if they do not put their trust in them, but very harmful if they lose their fear of God because of them.
50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the indulgence preachers, he would rather that the basilica of St. Peter were burned to ashes than built up with the skin, flesh, and bones of his sheep.
51. Christians are to be taught that the pope would and should wish to give of his own money, even though he had to sell the basilica of St. Peter, to many of those from whom certain hawkers of indulgences cajole money.
52. It is vain to trust in salvation by indulgence letters, even though the indulgence commissary, or even the pope, were to offer his soul as security.
53. They are the enemies of Christ and the pope who forbid altogether the preaching of the Word of God in some churches in order that indulgences may be preached in others.
54. Injury is done to the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or larger amount of time is devoted to indulgences than to the Word.
55. It is certainly the pope’s sentiment that if indulgences, which are a very insignificant thing, are celebrated with one bell, one procession, and one ceremony, then the gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.
56. The true treasures of the church, out of which the pope distributes indulgences, are not sufficiently discussed or known among the people of Christ.
57. That indulgences are not temporal treasures is certainly clear, for many indulgence sellers do not distribute them freely but only gather them.
58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the saints, for, even without the pope, the latter always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outer man.
59. St. Lawrence said that the poor of the church were the treasures of the church, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.
60. Without want of consideration we say that the keys of the church, given by the merits of Christ, are that treasure.
61. For it is clear that the pope’s power is of itself sufficient for the remission of penalties and cases reserved by himself.
62. The true treasure of the church is the most holy gospel of the glory and grace of God.
63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last (Mt. 20:16).
64. On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.
65. Therefore the treasures of the gospel are nets with which one formerly fished for men of wealth.
66. The treasures of indulgences are nets with which one now fishes for the wealth of men.
67. The indulgences which the demagogues acclaim as the greatest graces are actually understood to be such only insofar as they promote gain.
68. They are nevertheless in truth the most insignificant graces when compared with the grace of God and the piety of the cross.
69. Bishops and curates are bound to admit the commissaries of papal indulgences with all reverence.
70. But they are much more bound to strain their eyes and ears lest these men preach their own dreams instead of what the pope has commissioned.
71. Let him who speaks against the truth concerning papal indulgences be anathema and accursed.
72. But let him who guards against the lust and license of the indulgence preachers be blessed.
73. Just as the pope justly thunders against those who by any means whatever contrive harm to the sale of indulgences.
74. Much more does he intend to thunder against those who use indulgences as a pretext to contrive harm to holy love and truth.
75. To consider papal indulgences so great that they could absolve a man even if he had done the impossible and had violated the mother of God is madness.
76. We say on the contrary that papal indulgences cannot remove the very least of venial sins as far as guilt is concerned.
77. To say that even St. Peter if he were now pope, could not grant greater graces is blasphemy against St. Peter and the pope.
78. We say on the contrary that even the present pope, or any pope whatsoever, has greater graces at his disposal, that is, the gospel, spiritual powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written, 1 Co 12[:28].
79. To say that the cross emblazoned with the papal coat of arms, and set up by the indulgence preachers is equal in worth to the cross of Christ is blasphemy.
80. The bishops, curates, and theologians who permit such talk to be spread among the people will have to answer for this.
81. This unbridled preaching of indulgences makes it difficult even for learned men to rescue the reverence which is due the pope from slander or from the shrewd questions of the laity.
82. Such as: “Why does not the pope empty purgatory for the sake of holy love and the dire need of the souls that are there if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a church? The former reason would be most just; the latter is most trivial.
83. Again, “Why are funeral and anniversary masses for the dead continued and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded for them, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?”
84. Again, “What is this new piety of God and the pope that for a consideration of money they permit a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of purgatory the pious soul of a friend of God and do not rather, because of the need of that pious and beloved soul, free it for pure love’s sake?”
85. Again, “Why are the penitential canons, long since abrogated and dead in actual fact and through disuse, now satisfied by the granting of indulgences as though they were still alive and in force?”
86. Again, “Why does not the pope, whose wealth is today greater than the wealth of the richest Crassus, build this one basilica of St. Peter with his own money rather than with the money of poor believers?”
87. Again, “What does the pope remit or grant to those who by perfect contrition already have a right to full remission and blessings?”
88. Again, “What greater blessing could come to the church than if the pope were to bestow these remissions and blessings on every believer a hundred times a day, as he now does but once?”
89. “Since the pope seeks the salvation of souls rather than money by his indulgences, why does he suspend the indulgences and pardons previously granted when they have equal efficacy?”
90. To repress these very sharp arguments of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies and to make Christians unhappy.
91. If, therefore, indulgences were preached according to the spirit and intention of the pope, all these doubts would be readily resolved. Indeed, they would not exist.
92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Peace, peace,” and there is no peace! (Jer 6:14)
93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Cross, cross,” and there is no cross!
94. Christians should be exhorted to be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, death and hell.
95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven through many tribulations rather than through the false security of peace (Acts 14:22).
Here is a brief scene from the movie during Luther’s speech at the Diet of Worms:
As some of you know, I am a father of four wonderful children. This weekend I stumbled across an unusual picture my 10 year old daughter Haven drew and left laying on the couch in our living room…it was unusual because it was messy, didn’t show off her abilities, and seemed more chaotic than artistic or purposeful:
Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the dark)
I could tell that it was supposed to be our house but I knew she was capable of more and asked her what the story was regarding the picture. She told me that she was working on an assignment for Awanas, a Bible study for kids that she attends on Wednesday nights. She showed me the assignment:
And then she showed me her second picture:
Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the light)
I thought this was an awesome idea for teaching kids what a difference God’s light can make in our lives. I asked Haven to explain what the lesson was trying to teach and it was clear that she understood.
Haven paraphrased: “When we try to do things our way we usually make a mess of things and we can’t see things the way they really are or the way they should be but when we turn to the Bible for help God shines his light on our lives and we can learn how to do things His way, which is much better than our way.”
I think the verse the lesson used on the next page was:
Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”
Although it’s not quite in line with the point of the lesson, the verse that came to my mind was:
1 Corinthians 13:11-12 – “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
I am thankful that Haven shared this with me. It made me stop and ask myself, “Am I drawing in the dark?”
1 Peter 2:9 – But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Haven reminded me that the Bible serves as a light to show us what our lives really look like. We so often want to compare ourselves to others instead of comparing ourselves to God’s standard. We typically look for someone that is more selfish than us, or mismanages their money worse than us, or lies more than us, or doesn’t help others as much as us (etc.). It might not be so bad if we compared ourselves to people better than us but our natural tendency is to compare ourselves to the worst examples of human behavior and then we can make ourselves feel better about our poor choices and thoughts. That’s what living in darkness is all about….it’s us deceiving ourselves and setting our own ‘standard’ (that we simply adjust as we see fit). However, when we go to the Bible we see a perspective that makes clear the foolishness of our ways and that shines a clear light on the reality of who we are and who God wants to help us to be.
The Bible serves many purposes but one of the primary purposes is to teach us how to live an abundant life full of good deeds. All we have to do is open the Bible and let God’s wisdom give light to our eyes:
Psalm 19:8 – The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
I recently read the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No – by Henry Cloud. The book is an excellent resource for those who do not see or measure personal relationship boundaries clearly. It was a benefit for me, but it also left me with the feeling of a missing link. Others can attempt to infringe upon our boundaries at different times and in different situations for different reasons. And it is good to be on guard against these infringements, but that knowledge alone, despite the books character examples, only seems to offer a blueprint for reactive handling of boundary infringements.
I have boundary trouble with a few people in my life. One of those people is my mother. While reflectively asking myself what kind of boundary policies I might adopt in my relationship with my mother I realized the trouble was not so much with specific, isolated boundaries that might be breached as much as it was why they were breached. I realized two things: one, that I needed her to respect me in a couple of ways that she does not comprehend; and two, that she unconsciously looks to me and others to meet needs in her life which cannot actually be met by us. Namely, she has a need to find a greater sense of being loved and finding fulfillment in life that no person can give her, but which she will only be able to find in welcoming a deeper, personal relationship with God as her loving and active Father, whose deep waters alone are sufficient to meet each of our longings. A compounding difficulty, she has also for many years, led a lifestyle that has wielded social isolation.
I love my mother, and the goal of boundaries is of course to set parameters in relationship such that healthy interaction can be achieved while the danger of abuse, or the ultimate but sometimes necessary boundary of severing a relationship can be avoided. A severed relationship is something I find unlikely to be necessary with my mother, but in reflecting on what kind of boundary polices I might adopt with my mother, and feeling that Cloud and Townsend had left out a “missing link” I stumbled into a conversation in which the question of what offends a person was brought up. While I would normally say that not much of anything actually offends me, I suddenly had this epiphany – probably in part due to recent interaction – that my mother actually does do a couple of things that really do get under my skin and really do offend me. Although I cannot say that my thinking was very linear, later, as I attempted to put pen to paper on specific boundary ideas regarding my mother I began to think on the things she did which offended me, and instead of making a list of boundary ideas I made a list of specialized points on which I desired her to respect me. As soon as I did this the “missing link” in the boundary equation came clearly into the light….
What I need in my relationships is respect, not boundaries. Boundary setting is an excellent health measure to take in relationship with those who do not understand respect completely enough to fully “do to others as you would have them do to you;” but it is not a desired result – it is a stepping stone.
The difficulty in making specific, isolated boundaries against random boundary incursions is that these individual boundaries can seem arbitrary. In considering such boundaries I had an awareness that under different conditions and with different individuals I had no desire to hold these same boundaries. Thus, I realized that it was not specific actions which I considered to necessarily be boundary breaches in a relationship, but rather that I need to place boundaries between myself and the actions of those who do not offer me a fully respectful relationship.
All of this said, what I have really wanted to share is my concept of a “respect list.” I created a specialized list of points on which I need my mother to respect me in order to find a healthy relationship. I will not share that list, but I next went on to create a more generalized list of points on which I need to find respect in all my relationships in order for those relationships to be healthy and not necessitate special boundaries. This list applies to everyone from my family and closest friends, to my most loose outer circle of acquaintances, and those I am meeting for the first time. Some of these are points which are specially important to me and others are points which I do not generally experience problems with but which I must include as generically imperative. My list is as follows:
I need those who desire healthy relationship with me to grant me respect:
not to belittle or demean me
to have true commonality with me as a platform for co-creativity – this means we have to have something in common for our relationship to work, either we are family members, or we are drawn together by mutual enjoyment of certain activities, or we benefit from one another’s thinking and creativity – it is not possible to be in close relationship with everyone – we must not try to be like someone else, or compel others to be like us in order for relationships to work – we can accept others with respect and even admiration as members of our outer circle of friends or even acquaintances without needing them to be close to us in order to find value and benefit in the relationship – the truth is that we as individuals need not only inner circles of close friendships, but also outer circles of looser friendships and acquaintances – these in being different from us may keep us more fully in contact with the diversity, vastness and functionality of the whole and bigger world which we might otherwise struggle more difficultly to understand and flourish in without their help, even through less regular interaction
not to overburden me with needs that are not meant to be met by me – this can manifest itself in different ways, but it essentially means that as adults we are not meant to be each others parents – everyone needs someone to hold their hand sometime – romantically this could be everyday, but as a state of crisis it cannot – we all need more love than any one person can give us – and not only do we all need more than one friend can give us (e.g. a husband needs more than just a wife, and a wife needs more than just a husband), but we also need to know and feel God’s active love for us personally, and to come to enjoy reciprocating that love
to be honest – not to hold back, hide or lie – learning how to manage the truth after it has been spoken is a skill – but no relationship will prosper without it
to root for me – if you are my friend I want to see good things for you – likewise you should rejoice in the same for me
to encourage me – we all need this – in some cases positive language endorses this to the extent that it becomes hollow, don’t do that, but you know…
to direct me to God – we all need this, and I value it more than I can even express
to maintain healthy boundaries against me – no one has perfect vision and we all misstep at times – protect yourself against me! – in doing so we will both be happier
allow me to be honest without severing relationship – I am desperate for those who speak the truth – you will not harm but only enhance the relationship you have with me by speaking the truth – likewise please grant that I may speak the truth without fear that you will want to terminate the relationship
to communicate clearly – (this added just before print) – if you have a doubt as to whether I understood something you said – make sure – ask me – we filter things through our perspective, sometimes we interpret nearly opposite an intended meaning – don’t make your words too few – believe in communication
These same respects that I seek in others also apply to me. If I am in relationship I desire to grant these respects. In relationships that do not grant these respects I will probably need boundaries. Boundaries can come in several forms such as limiting time spent with a specific individual, not sharing the sensitive things in one’s heart with a specific individual, not discussing certain topics with a specific individual, or learning to say “no” to certain requests from or activities with specific individuals… but that is another topic.
Here, I merely desire to share my personal discovery into when boundaries are needed in my life – and it has been my discovery that I need boundaries when there is a lack of respect. I stumbled into the creation of a repect list with my mother, and from there went on to create another list in regard to all my relationships – both have been helpful. I have also discussed the possibility of creating a respect list for choosing a church, and even viewing poor health choices as breaches of respect for one’s personal health. There are probably many possibilities.
Is it possible that an exploration into boundaries or a respect list could be helpful to you in your relationships?
How do you value your friendships and relationships? If there was one quality above all other qualities important to friendship what would it be? Love? Smile… Okay, I concede that one. But love must be living, it must be a living fountain of water extending from the Living God – or it cannot endure.
What is the most important element in friendship? What could not be gone without beyond all other things?
I once knew a girl in whom I observed these qualities: She was maybe the kindest person I have ever met. She was so kind that I think she actually made every person she interacted with feel loved – whether they were close, or an acquaintance, or even those she was meeting for the first time.
She was beautiful, intelligent, talented and most of all she loved God. She loved God enthusiastically with her whole heart! She enjoyed worshiping God and would always be quick to dance in praise to Him at every worship opportunity. She seemed to hold nothing back.
She also invested herself in prayer and participated in leading prayer and worship meetings.
She was one of many leaders who found in their gift the place to lead and raise their voice in praise to God through spontaneous worship music – that is music that is both spontaneously not a pre-existing song, but a new song, with new words which are sung as worship and prayer to God – and in some places when God and his people draw close, even become through the Holy Spirit prophetic expressions received back from God to his people.
She seemed to have a heart fully bent toward God and dwelling in his presence – close to his heart and throne – to see and bring joy to his countenance and receiving the same in return.
Though I would not go so far as to say that God has favorites in any exclusive way, the best imagination of her position before God was as a favorite daughter who having completely won her father’s heart, trust and favor could if she were to ask have anything her heart desired from his throne room.
And here my imagination runs away with me… it seemed from my position that her favorite thing to do was to request hot coals from God’s alter – coals of revelation of God’s love, and joy, and peace, and forgiveness, and mercy, and grace, and beauty, and provision, and righteousness, and holiness, and even Eternal life! …and to bring those coals to others – to friends, family, acquaintances, the lost, to anyone willing to receive!
I cannot imagine a greater gift! …and I am blessed to know others who follow this same pattern.
Is there any other food we can less do without in life?
“Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and mind, and soul, and strength,” and “love thy neighbor as thyself.” These are the two great commandments.
Do have friends who bring you hot coals from God’s alter? Regularly? Have you ever received a hot coal from God’s alter that you were able to share with your friends? Do you often bring your friends hot coals? What about all of your relationships? Even with those who are only acquaintances, are hot coals exchanged between you?
This is my desire. I want my friendships to be those that exchange hot coals from God’s alter! Whether it be my closest friend with whom I interact daily or the acquaintance I exchange words with only once in my life time – this is the thing I hold most precious.
I was flying home from Indianapolis last week after a hard week of work and school. I was exhausted and craving time with my family. My plane was on the final approach for Atlanta and it was already dark so all I could see were the lights of homes and businesses spreading out all the way to the horizon.
I began to think about all the people, striving to own a little more land, a little bigger house, and a nicer car. I started thinking about all the stress and anxiety that must exist just below me because of the down economy, strained relationships, hectic schedules, etc. I also wondered how much happiness, joy, contentment, and fulfillment I was flying over. I began to think about my own happiness and the goals I have set for my life and for my family. I realized that what I am craving in life is not more money or success but simply time with my family (specifically time when I am not preoccupied with financial burdens, distracted by work, or cranky from exhaustion, stress, and personal commitments).
I realized that what I am craving is simply “margin”. There are many definitions of margin but I am referring to this kind of margin:
“An amount beyond what is needed”
I realize that most people (including myself) rarely strive after margin. We strive after promotions, bonuses, improvements, and upgrades (i.e. – a better paying job, a bigger house, a newer widget, etc). Sometimes we are trying to impress our ______, sometimes we perceive that we need a new ______ to make us happy, and sometimes we are just chasing after______ because we don’t know what else to chase after.
I listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio sometimes and one of the things I have noticed repeatedly is that when people call in to announce amazing amounts of debt that they have paid off, it doesn’t seem to matter how much their annual income is….they all sound intensely happy. Why are they so happy? They are typically earning the same annual income now as they were before they were out of debt so the only good explanation I can come up with isMARGIN. Now, whether they make $17,000 a year or $170,000 a year, they have “An amount beyond what is needed”. I hear the extreme happiness in their voices and I know that what I should be striving for is not more but less.
It seems that the two prerequisites for margin are needing less (surplus) and wanting less (contentment).
SURPLUS – No matter how much money a person makes, if their monthly expenses consume all (or more) of their monthly income then they will usually be stressed out and unhappy. Margin by definition is having a surplus. We would all like to make more but that is much harder to accomplish than making changes so that we will need less.
CONTENTMENT – a feeling or state of being satisfied with one’s possessions, status, and situation in life. Nothing changes in our external world, we simply have a new perspective that makes us appreciative of what we have instead of focused on what we don’t have.
This idea of margin is not limited to our finances. For example, my wife and I found that our family was suffering from having no margin in our schedules about a year ago. It took some time to implement the changes but we were able to free up time in our schedules by cutting out things that didn’t add value to our relationships or our goals. Free time = margin in our schedules = peace.
As we head into this new year, I hope for myself, my family, and for each of you, a year of increased margin in all areas of life.
Blessings, BoB
PS – Just a couple last thoughts on this topic: I am not suggesting that we should avoid taking better jobs or making more money…we should just try to lower our “marginal propensity to consume”. A bigger shovel is better but not if the pile we have to scoop becomes too heavy to lift I am also not suggesting we should avoid responsibility or commitments…we should just make sure we set boundaries regarding our time so that we are committed to and responsible for the things most important to us instead of every distraction the world puts in front of us. We are called to be good stewards..not just with our money but with our time, talents, relationships, and other resources.
This post is in response to Drew’s recent post called “Pagan Christmas” but you should also read my previous post on Halloween before you read this post if you want a complete perspective.
I agreed with most everything Drew said in the first paragraph. There are, of course, many variations on the history depending on the source you reference but I didn’t see anything in Drew’s first section that I hadn’t read before and I have no additional comments. It’s the paragraph that starts with “I have a few friends” that I would like to comment on:
(Drew’s words are in red and mine are in green)
I have a few friends that don’t celebrate Halloween in regards to its pagan nature and see no value in it. Even though Halloween brings communities together, makes kids laugh, multiplies candy, belittles evil, and is fun, celebrating such a holiday appears to question their moral Christian principles.
My wife and I are some of those friends and yes, we see no value in Halloween. I address each of the reasons Drew gives as “even though”s in my Halloween post so I am not going to redo that here. Halloween does not make me question “moral Christian Principles”, it just provides an excellent opportunity to practice them. Please read my Halloween post for a full explanation.
I wonder if the Church had decided to incorporate Samhain (pagan holiday) and Christ’s birth if some Christians would be more apt to celebrate the holiday of Halloween.
The church has already done that…its called “All Saints Day”. The answer is no, it didn’t make me more apt to celebrate Halloween. Just because the church sanctions an event doesn’t mean it is worth celebrating or not worth celebrating. We have to decide for ourselves what we should participate in. Many churches now celebrate Halloween…in fact, all of the churches I went to growing up celebrated Halloween in some form or another. I decided to stop ‘celebrating’ because I thought the issues through for myself and my conclusion is fully explained in my Halloween post.
Note: In my Halloween post I don’t mention ‘pagan origins’ as one of the five reasons why I don’t participate….”I am not nearly as interested in the history of Halloween as in what it means today” – the same applies to Christmas symbols and traditions.
It does seem that Christmas (probably due to its commercial push and the multitude of Christian sheep corralled into the stalls of justification) is viewed primarily as a Christian Holiday, and therefore most Christians can celebrate the holiday without a sered conscious.
I have to confess (regarding the seared conscience), my wife and I have struggled with whether or not to celebrate Christmas for several years. Christmas has become such a commercial enterprise and Santa has nearly completely replaced Christ as the focus of Christmas, at least in the malls, public school plays, and around the office. Christmas was not celebrated by the early church and many of the symbols of Christmas can be traced back to pagan rituals. To be honest, my wife and I are still sorting this out and don’t feel like we have reached closure (mostly because we don’t agree yet…usually means I’m wrong but rationalizing in my mind so I don’t have to see things the way they really are or the way God sees them). We actually got rid of the Christmas tree a couple years ago and didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not in the traditional way. We simply read the Christmas story and tried to focus on helping others (like the original Saint Nicholas). My family still enjoyed Christmas and it was nice focusing on others but I felt like there wasn’t as much joy and happiness in my home as previous years. I decided the following year to start celebrating Christmas again for the inverse reasons of why I don’t celebrate Halloween.
I started off my post about Halloween by explaining that even if I didn’t have religious reasons I would still not celebrate the holiday. The opposite is true of Christmas. Even if I wasn’t a Christian, I would still see the value in a holiday that celebrates love, family, giving, friends, happiness, beauty, etc. The whole tone of Christmas is nearly the opposite of Halloween. I wish I had a picture of some houses in my neighborhood from earlier this year. One in particular was covered in symbols of evil – demons, zombies, decapitations, blood, and ghosts. Now, just months later, that house is not decorated at all, but the house next door is decorated with beautiful lights, a smiling Santa Claus, and other symbols of friendship, love, and happiness.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with the materialism, deifying a magical Santa, or other facets of ‘X-mas’ that draw our attention away from Christ. However, the reason I decided to continue celebrating Christmas and the reason we have put up a Christmas tree this year is because for me personally, Christmas draws my attention back to Christ. When I see a Christmas tree I think of Christ. When I sing the famous Christmas carols I think of Christ. When my family gathers and shares gifts with each other I think of Christ. I think we each have to ask ourselves:
1. What are our motivations for the things we do?
2. What is valuable and worth supporting?
3. Do we believe what we plan to do will glorify God.
For this reason, I am not upset when someone else chooses to celebrate Halloween, or Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever. If they believe their motivations are right, that there is value in observing the holiday, and that observing it edifies God, then who am I to disagree…it is between them and God. For me, I can celebrate the birth of Christ (labeled as Christmas) confidently with those 3 questions in mind…I can not do the same for Halloween.
I suppose (once again) it’s all the Church’s fault.
We are the church. It’s our fault as individuals. We have encouraged the whole process all along by singing about Santa, buying gifts beyond our means and with wrong motivations, and submitting to the political correctness of the media and the marketing schemes to promote consumerism. No worries though…the bible doesn’t forbid or require us to celebrate Christmas so there is nothing to lose. If Christmas is eventually completely lost in materialism and emptiness it doesn’t change the reality of Christ. If we lose Christmas we have lost nothing. If we lose Christ we have lost everything.
“Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men.”
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.
—Ruth 1:16
TODAY’S DARE
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
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Last night I watched the movie 
I recently read the book 
. The book is an excellent resource for those who do not see or measure personal relationship boundaries clearly. It was a benefit for me, but it also left me with the feeling of a missing link. Others can attempt to infringe upon our boundaries at different times and in different situations for different reasons. And it is good to be on guard against these infringements, but that knowledge alone, despite the books character examples, only seems to offer a blueprint for reactive handling of boundary infringements.
I was flying home from Indianapolis last week after a hard week of work and school. I was exhausted and craving time with my family. My plane was on the final approach for Atlanta and it was already dark so all I could see were the lights of homes and businesses spreading out all the way to the horizon.
Sometimes we are trying to impress our 
Please read my
