What makes a good church?

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This question is of course skipping pre-foundational questions like: Is church necessary?; Is church biblical?; Why go to church?…. The question is presented to those that attend church and have something to say and ALSO those that DON’T attend church but would like to and have a “wish list” of things that would make them enjoy or attend church regularly.

I write this for feedback. I am not a regular church attendee anywhere. I also have the dilemna that the church I attend on Wednesday nights my wife has stated clearly she will NEVER attend again. I think everyone could list things concerning what they do not like about church, but let’s here some positives. And add some emotional validation to it if you could.

Margin: A foundation for happiness

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I was flying home from Indianapolis last week after a hard week of work and school.  I was exhausted and craving time with my family.   My plane was on the final approach for Atlanta and it was already dark so all I could see were the lights of homes and businesses spreading out all the way to the horizon.

I began to think about all the people, striving to own a little more land, a little bigger house, and a nicer car.  I started thinking about all the stress and anxiety that must exist just below me because of the down economy, strained relationships, hectic schedules, etc.  I also wondered how much happiness, joy, contentment, and fulfillment I was flying over.  I began to think about my own happiness and the goals I have set for my life and for my family.  I realized that what I am craving in life is not more money or success but simply time with my family (specifically time when I am not preoccupied with financial burdens, distracted by work, or cranky from exhaustion, stress, and personal commitments).

I realized that what I am craving is simply “margin”.  There are many definitions of margin but I am referring to this kind of margin:

“An amount beyond what is needed”

I realize that most people (including myself) rarely strive after margin.  We strive after promotions, bonuses, improvements, and upgrades (i.e. – a better paying job, a bigger house, a newer widget, etc).   Sometimes  we are trying to impress our ______, sometimes we perceive that we need a new ______ to make us happy, and sometimes we are just chasing after______ because we don’t know what else to chase after.

I listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio sometimes and one of the things I have noticed repeatedly is that when people call in to announce amazing amounts of debt that they have paid off, it doesn’t seem to matter how much their annual income is….they all sound intensely happy.  Why are they so happy? They are typically earning the same annual income now as they were before they were out of debt so the only good explanation I can come up with is MARGIN.  Now, whether they make $17,000 a year or $170,000 a year, they have “An amount beyond what is needed”.  I hear the extreme happiness in their voices and I know that what I should be striving for is not more but less.

It seems that the two prerequisites for margin are needing less (surplus) and wanting less (contentment).

SURPLUS – No matter how much money a person makes, if their monthly expenses consume all (or more) of their monthly income then they will usually be stressed out and unhappy.  Margin by definition is having a surplus.  We would all like to make more but that is much harder to accomplish than making changes so that we will need less.

CONTENTMENT – a feeling or state of being satisfied with one’s possessions, status, and situation in life.  Nothing changes in our external world, we simply have a new perspective that makes us appreciative of what we have instead of focused on what we don’t have.

This idea of margin is not limited to our finances.  For example, my wife and I found that our family was suffering from having no margin in our schedules about a year ago.  It took some time to implement the changes but we were able to free up time in our schedules by cutting out things that didn’t add value to our relationships or our goals.  Free time = margin in our schedules = peace.

As we head into this new year, I hope for myself, my family, and for each of you, a year of increased margin in all areas of life.

Blessings, BoB

PS – Just a couple last thoughts on this topic:
I am not suggesting that we should avoid taking better jobs or making more money…we should just try to lower our “marginal propensity to consume”.  A bigger shovel is better but not if the pile we have to scoop becomes too heavy to lift :-)

I am also not suggesting we should avoid responsibility or commitments…we should just make sure we set boundaries regarding our time so that we are committed to and responsible for the things most important to us instead of every distraction the world puts in front of us.  We are called to be good stewards..not just with our money but with our time, talents, relationships, and other resources.

Christmas – Why our family participates (despite the pagan influences)

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GrinchThis post is in response to Drew’s recent post called “Pagan Christmas” but you should also read my previous post on Halloween before you read this post if you want a complete perspective.

I agreed with most everything Drew said in the first paragraph.  There are, of course, many variations on the history depending on the source you reference but I didn’t see anything in Drew’s first section that I hadn’t read before and I have no additional comments.  It’s the paragraph that starts with “I have a few friends” that I would like to comment on:

(Drew’s words are in red and mine are in green)

I have a few friends that don’t celebrate Halloween in regards to its pagan nature and see no value in it. Even though Halloween brings communities together, makes kids laugh, multiplies candy, belittles evil, and is fun, celebrating such a holiday appears to question their moral Christian principles.

My wife and I are some of those friends and yes, we see no value in Halloween.  I address each of the reasons Drew gives as “even though”s in my Halloween post so I am not going to redo that here.  Halloween does not make me question “moral Christian Principles”, it just provides an excellent opportunity to practice them.  ;-)   Please read my Halloween post for a full explanation.

I wonder if the Church had decided to incorporate Samhain (pagan holiday) and Christ’s birth if some Christians would be more apt to celebrate the holiday of Halloween.

The church has already done that…its called “All Saints Day”.  The answer is no, it didn’t make me more apt to celebrate Halloween.  Just because the church sanctions an event doesn’t mean it is worth celebrating or not worth celebrating.  We have to decide for ourselves what we should participate in.  Many churches now celebrate Halloween…in fact, all of the churches I went to growing up celebrated Halloween in some form or another.  I decided to stop ‘celebrating’ because I thought the issues through for myself and my conclusion is fully explained in my Halloween post.

Note: In my Halloween post I don’t mention ‘pagan origins’ as one of the five reasons why I don’t participate….”I am not nearly as interested in the history of Halloween as in what it means today” – the same applies to Christmas symbols and traditions.

It does seem that Christmas (probably due to its commercial push and the multitude of Christian sheep corralled into the stalls of justification) is viewed primarily as a Christian Holiday, and therefore most Christians can celebrate the holiday without a sered conscious.

A sad ChristmasI have to confess (regarding the seared conscience), my wife and I have struggled with whether or not to celebrate Christmas for several years.  Christmas has become such a commercial enterprise and Santa has nearly completely replaced Christ as the focus of Christmas, at least in the malls, public school plays, and around the office.  Christmas was not celebrated by the early church and many of the symbols of Christmas can be traced back to pagan rituals.  To be honest, my wife and I are still sorting this out and don’t feel like we have reached closure (mostly because we don’t agree yet…usually means I’m wrong but rationalizing in my mind so I don’t have to see things the way they really are or the way God sees them).  We actually got rid of the Christmas tree a couple years ago and didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not in the traditional way.  We simply read the Christmas story and tried to focus on helping others (like the original Saint Nicholas).   My family still enjoyed Christmas and it was nice focusing on others but I felt like there wasn’t as much joy and happiness in my home as previous years.  I decided the following year to start celebrating Christmas again for the inverse reasons of why I don’t celebrate Halloween.

I started off my post about Halloween by explaining that even if I didn’t have religious reasons I would still not celebrate the holiday.  The opposite is true of Christmas.  Even if I wasn’t a Christian, I would still see the value in a holiday that celebrates love, family, giving, friends, happiness, beauty, etc.  The whole tone of Christmas is nearly the opposite of Halloween.  I wish I had a picture of some houses in my neighborhood from earlier this year.  One in particular was covered in symbols of evil – demons, zombies, decapitations, blood, and ghosts.  Now, just months later, that house is not decorated at all, but the house next door is decorated with beautiful lights, a smiling Santa Claus, and other symbols of friendship, love, and happiness.

NewPerspectiveDon’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with the materialism, deifying a magical Santa, or other facets of ‘X-mas’ that draw our attention away from Christ.  However, the reason I decided to continue celebrating Christmas and the reason we have put up a Christmas tree this year is because for me personally, Christmas draws my attention back to Christ.  When I see a Christmas tree I think of Christ.  When I sing the famous Christmas carols I think of Christ.  When my family gathers and shares gifts with each other I think of Christ.  I think we each have to ask ourselves:

1.  What are our motivations for the things we do?

2.  What is valuable and worth supporting?

3.  Do we believe what we plan to do will glorify God.

For this reason, I am not upset when someone else chooses to celebrate Halloween, or Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever.  If they believe their motivations are right, that there is value in observing the holiday, and that observing it edifies God, then who am I to disagree…it is between them and God.  For me, I can celebrate the birth of Christ (labeled as Christmas) confidently with those 3 questions in mind…I can not do the same for Halloween.

I suppose (once again) it’s all the Church’s fault.

We are the church.  It’s our fault as individuals.  We have encouraged the whole process all along by singing about Santa, buying gifts beyond our means and with wrong motivations, and submitting to the political correctness of the media and the marketing schemes to promote consumerism.  No worries though…the bible doesn’t forbid or require us to celebrate Christmas so there is nothing to lose.  If Christmas is eventually completely lost in materialism and emptiness it doesn’t change the reality of Christ. If we lose Christmas we have lost nothing.  If we lose Christ we have lost everything.

“Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men.”

Merry Christmas, BoB


Merry Christmas

Pagan Christmas

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Here are some commonly believed facts about Christmas:
1) Christ was not born on the 25th of December:
It’s commonly believed that the Catholic Church in trying to appease the pagan holidays of celebrating the winter solstice and the holiday Saturnalia (Festival of Saturn), mixed the birth of Christ to reside on these holidays. On the 25th of December the festival of Saturnalia would celebrate “The unconqureable birth of the Eternal Sun”. I think this if I were a church leader of the time, that would be a good day to meld the birth of Christ (Birth of the Eternal Sun). Saturnalia was a celebration of drunkeness, wine, “making merry”, and often times giving the gift of oneself (hint hint nudge nudge).
2) Mistletoe:
There are two references for mistletoe. One is that the Scandinavian goddess Friga after her son was killed by a mistletoe arrow (missle?), decided that mistletoe should never be used for violence again but instead as a symbol of love. In respect, people would hang the mistletoe in their houses and kiss under it. Another reference for mistletoe is that the Druid leader would climb a tree and with a golden knife and cut off mistletoe. It was believed that mistletoe possesd magical and curative properties. The Druid leader would then disperse the mistletoe to the people and they would hang it in their houses. Unfortunately usually a white bull or a person was sacrificed during the ritual to appease the angry Druid god that might become irritated that they took the mistletoe
3)Yule log:
This Scandinavians offered a log to the fertility god Jules during the 12 days of rite (which fell sometime around the winter soltice). Makes you wonder where we got the idea for 12 days of Christmas
4) Christmas Tree:
Well once again the Druids around the solstice would take an evergreen tree, bring it inside, and hang fruit on it and put food under it as an offering to the gods. The tree would symbolize reproduction, life and the everlasting bounty of nature.

I have a few friends that don’t celebrate Halloween in regards to its pagan nature and see no value in it. Even though Halloween brings communities together, makes kids laugh, multiplies candy, belittles evil, and is fun, celebrating such a holiday appears to question their moral Christian principles. I wonder if the Church had decided to incorporate Samhain (pagan holiday) and Christ’s birth if some Christians would be more apt to celebrate the holiday of Halloween. It does seem that Christmas (probably due to its commercial push and the multitude of Christian sheep corraled into the stalls of justification) is viewed primarily as a Christian Holiday, and therefore most Christians can celebrate the holiday without a sered conscious.

I suppose (once again) it’s all the Church’s fault. Trying to appease the lost pagan’s concerning their traditional beliefs. The bible said not to be unequally yoked, right? Maybe in the end we just “messed up” the pagan’s holidays and “messed up” what could have been untainted holy days set apart for God. Now at best we are doomed to Pagan Christianity and what’s more, what and where the church leads us.

“Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men.”

-Drew

Love Dare – Day 40: Love is a covenant

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Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

—Ruth 1:16

TODAY’S DARE

Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.  Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present.  Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.

Love Dare – Day 39: Love endures

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Love never fails.

—1 Corinthians 13:8

TODAY’S DARE

Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.  Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.  Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.

Religious Question of the Month #003

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Why do Christians argue so violantly over trivial issues?  If you really want to have a good laugh and be broken harted all at the same time go look at just about ANY youtube video that has something to do with Religion and there will be a whole slew of people ALLCAPS YELLING and slandering each other to prove thier point…  This is most definately one of the top 10 most frusterating things I have delt with in the Christian church.

1Co 13:2  I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing.
1Co 13:3  I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned —but if I have no love, this does me no good.
1Co 13:4  Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud;
1Co 13:5  love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs;

Jesus himself said this

Joh 13:35  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I’ve always thought is was cool that he didn’t say things like:  signs and wonders, abilty to move crowds with words,  suits and ties, financial status, church status etc etc…  But if I look a good portion of the church that I have delt with\ experienced I don’t really see love for one another or “always considering others better than yourselves.” Php 2:3

There are many many more scriptures to be used on the matter so feel free to post some more.   Or disagree for that matter!  BUT NO ALLCAPS YELLING ZOMG!?!

I’ll give an example here is a conversation between two people concerning a Bethel video on www.Youtube.com

Apologist117 says: The people at Bethel are worldly, materialistic and superficial. Modern Evangelicalism is marked by designer clothing and all forms of impiety. They live for themselves and are just looking for something to entertain them and make them feel good. They are not serious about God. The newer generation thinks this is normal and Christian because it’s all they’ve ever known. They have no sense of history and authentic otherworldly Christianity.

ibetheltv replys with: So you must know these people you are talking about since you talk with such authority and decisiveness. Since I do, I know one thing…. you don’t.
They are VERY serious about God, they live only to please Him. I pray that you become hungry for more, that God will fill the void with a genuine relationship with himself.

Apologist117 says: You are inpressed by people like this because you don’t know any better. These kind of people are not dead to the world, flesh and devil. We know how they are because of how they live (for themselves). You will never reach your full spiritual potential if you listen to people and pseudo-churches like Bethel. They are materialistic and know nothing about self-crucifiction and death to the lower carnal man.

That just screams love doesn’t it!!  Oh wait, No It doesn’t….

Sometimes Love is willingness to be wrong without defense.

Love Dare – Day 38: Love fulfills dreams

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Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

—Psalm 37:4

TODAY’S DARE

Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

Love Dare – Day 37: Love agrees in prayer

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If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father.

—Matthew 18:19

TODAY’S DARE

Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.  Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime.  Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord.  Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing.  Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.