I received this video from a friend of mine yesterday and thought it was worth sharing with the group….enjoy:
He mentions his book at the end. I haven’t read it myself but I have heard good things about it and hope to read it soon:
As some of you know, I am a father of four wonderful children. This weekend I stumbled across an unusual picture my 10 year old daughter Haven drew and left laying on the couch in our living room…it was unusual because it was messy, didn’t show off her abilities, and seemed more chaotic than artistic or purposeful:
Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the dark)
I could tell that it was supposed to be our house but I knew she was capable of more and asked her what the story was regarding the picture. She told me that she was working on an assignment for Awanas, a Bible study for kids that she attends on Wednesday nights. She showed me the assignment:
And then she showed me her second picture:
Haven's sketch of our house (drawn in the light)
I thought this was an awesome idea for teaching kids what a difference God’s light can make in our lives. I asked Haven to explain what the lesson was trying to teach and it was clear that she understood.
Haven paraphrased: “When we try to do things our way we usually make a mess of things and we can’t see things the way they really are or the way they should be but when we turn to the Bible for help God shines his light on our lives and we can learn how to do things His way, which is much better than our way.”
I think the verse the lesson used on the next page was:
Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”
Although it’s not quite in line with the point of the lesson, the verse that came to my mind was:
1 Corinthians 13:11-12 – “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
I am thankful that Haven shared this with me. It made me stop and ask myself, “Am I drawing in the dark?”
1 Peter 2:9 – But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light
Haven reminded me that the Bible serves as a light to show us what our lives really look like. We so often want to compare ourselves to others instead of comparing ourselves to God’s standard. We typically look for someone that is more selfish than us, or mismanages their money worse than us, or lies more than us, or doesn’t help others as much as us (etc.). It might not be so bad if we compared ourselves to people better than us but our natural tendency is to compare ourselves to the worst examples of human behavior and then we can make ourselves feel better about our poor choices and thoughts. That’s what living in darkness is all about….it’s us deceiving ourselves and setting our own ‘standard’ (that we simply adjust as we see fit). However, when we go to the Bible we see a perspective that makes clear the foolishness of our ways and that shines a clear light on the reality of who we are and who God wants to help us to be.
The Bible serves many purposes but one of the primary purposes is to teach us how to live an abundant life full of good deeds. All we have to do is open the Bible and let God’s wisdom give light to our eyes:
Psalm 19:8 – The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
I was flying home from Indianapolis last week after a hard week of work and school. I was exhausted and craving time with my family. My plane was on the final approach for Atlanta and it was already dark so all I could see were the lights of homes and businesses spreading out all the way to the horizon.
I began to think about all the people, striving to own a little more land, a little bigger house, and a nicer car. I started thinking about all the stress and anxiety that must exist just below me because of the down economy, strained relationships, hectic schedules, etc. I also wondered how much happiness, joy, contentment, and fulfillment I was flying over. I began to think about my own happiness and the goals I have set for my life and for my family. I realized that what I am craving in life is not more money or success but simply time with my family (specifically time when I am not preoccupied with financial burdens, distracted by work, or cranky from exhaustion, stress, and personal commitments).
I realized that what I am craving is simply “margin”. There are many definitions of margin but I am referring to this kind of margin:
I realize that most people (including myself) rarely strive after margin. We strive after promotions, bonuses, improvements, and upgrades (i.e. – a better paying job, a bigger house, a newer widget, etc). 
Sometimes we are trying to impress our ______, sometimes we perceive that we need a new ______ to make us happy, and sometimes we are just chasing after______ because we don’t know what else to chase after.
I listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio sometimes and one of the things I have noticed repeatedly is that when people call in to announce amazing amounts of debt that they have paid off, it doesn’t seem to matter how much their annual income is….they all sound intensely happy. Why are they so happy? They are typically earning the same annual income now as they were before they were out of debt so the only good explanation I can come up with is MARGIN. Now, whether they make $17,000 a year or $170,000 a year, they have “An amount beyond what is needed”. I hear the extreme happiness in their voices and I know that what I should be striving for is not more but less.
It seems that the two prerequisites for margin are needing less (surplus) and wanting less (contentment).
SURPLUS – No matter how much money a person makes, if their monthly expenses consume all (or more) of their monthly income then they will usually be stressed out and unhappy. Margin by definition is having a surplus. We would all like to make more but that is much harder to accomplish than making changes so that we will need less.
CONTENTMENT – a feeling or state of being satisfied with one’s possessions, status, and situation in life. Nothing changes in our external world, we simply have a new perspective that makes us appreciative of what we have instead of focused on what we don’t have.
This idea of margin is not limited to our finances. For example, my wife and I found that our family was suffering from having no margin in our schedules about a year ago. It took some time to implement the changes but we were able to free up time in our schedules by cutting out things that didn’t add value to our relationships or our goals. Free time = margin in our schedules = peace.
As we head into this new year, I hope for myself, my family, and for each of you, a year of increased margin in all areas of life.
Blessings, BoB
PS – Just a couple last thoughts on this topic: I am not suggesting that we should avoid taking better jobs or making more money…we should just try to lower our “marginal propensity to consume”. A bigger shovel is better but not if the pile we have to scoop becomes too heavy to lift
This post is in response to Drew’s recent post called “Pagan Christmas” but you should also read my previous post on Halloween before you read this post if you want a complete perspective.
I agreed with most everything Drew said in the first paragraph. There are, of course, many variations on the history depending on the source you reference but I didn’t see anything in Drew’s first section that I hadn’t read before and I have no additional comments. It’s the paragraph that starts with “I have a few friends” that I would like to comment on:
(Drew’s words are in red and mine are in green)
I have a few friends that don’t celebrate Halloween in regards to its pagan nature and see no value in it. Even though Halloween brings communities together, makes kids laugh, multiplies candy, belittles evil, and is fun, celebrating such a holiday appears to question their moral Christian principles.
My wife and I are some of those friends and yes, we see no value in Halloween. I address each of the reasons Drew gives as “even though”s in my Halloween post so I am not going to redo that here. Halloween does not make me question “moral Christian Principles”, it just provides an excellent opportunity to practice them. 
Please read my Halloween post for a full explanation.
I wonder if the Church had decided to incorporate Samhain (pagan holiday) and Christ’s birth if some Christians would be more apt to celebrate the holiday of Halloween.
The church has already done that…its called “All Saints Day”. The answer is no, it didn’t make me more apt to celebrate Halloween. Just because the church sanctions an event doesn’t mean it is worth celebrating or not worth celebrating. We have to decide for ourselves what we should participate in. Many churches now celebrate Halloween…in fact, all of the churches I went to growing up celebrated Halloween in some form or another. I decided to stop ‘celebrating’ because I thought the issues through for myself and my conclusion is fully explained in my Halloween post.
Note: In my Halloween post I don’t mention ‘pagan origins’ as one of the five reasons why I don’t participate….”I am not nearly as interested in the history of Halloween as in what it means today” – the same applies to Christmas symbols and traditions.
It does seem that Christmas (probably due to its commercial push and the multitude of Christian sheep corralled into the stalls of justification) is viewed primarily as a Christian Holiday, and therefore most Christians can celebrate the holiday without a sered conscious.
I have to confess (regarding the seared conscience), my wife and I have struggled with whether or not to celebrate Christmas for several years. Christmas has become such a commercial enterprise and Santa has nearly completely replaced Christ as the focus of Christmas, at least in the malls, public school plays, and around the office. Christmas was not celebrated by the early church and many of the symbols of Christmas can be traced back to pagan rituals. To be honest, my wife and I are still sorting this out and don’t feel like we have reached closure (mostly because we don’t agree yet…usually means I’m wrong but rationalizing in my mind so I don’t have to see things the way they really are or the way God sees them). We actually got rid of the Christmas tree a couple years ago and didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not in the traditional way. We simply read the Christmas story and tried to focus on helping others (like the original Saint Nicholas). My family still enjoyed Christmas and it was nice focusing on others but I felt like there wasn’t as much joy and happiness in my home as previous years. I decided the following year to start celebrating Christmas again for the inverse reasons of why I don’t celebrate Halloween.
I started off my post about Halloween by explaining that even if I didn’t have religious reasons I would still not celebrate the holiday. The opposite is true of Christmas. Even if I wasn’t a Christian, I would still see the value in a holiday that celebrates love, family, giving, friends, happiness, beauty, etc. The whole tone of Christmas is nearly the opposite of Halloween. I wish I had a picture of some houses in my neighborhood from earlier this year. One in particular was covered in symbols of evil – demons, zombies, decapitations, blood, and ghosts. Now, just months later, that house is not decorated at all, but the house next door is decorated with beautiful lights, a smiling Santa Claus, and other symbols of friendship, love, and happiness.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with the materialism, deifying a magical Santa, or other facets of ‘X-mas’ that draw our attention away from Christ. However, the reason I decided to continue celebrating Christmas and the reason we have put up a Christmas tree this year is because for me personally, Christmas draws my attention back to Christ. When I see a Christmas tree I think of Christ. When I sing the famous Christmas carols I think of Christ. When my family gathers and shares gifts with each other I think of Christ. I think we each have to ask ourselves:
1. What are our motivations for the things we do?
2. What is valuable and worth supporting?
3. Do we believe what we plan to do will glorify God.
For this reason, I am not upset when someone else chooses to celebrate Halloween, or Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever. If they believe their motivations are right, that there is value in observing the holiday, and that observing it edifies God, then who am I to disagree…it is between them and God. For me, I can celebrate the birth of Christ (labeled as Christmas) confidently with those 3 questions in mind…I can not do the same for Halloween.
I suppose (once again) it’s all the Church’s fault.
We are the church. It’s our fault as individuals. We have encouraged the whole process all along by singing about Santa, buying gifts beyond our means and with wrong motivations, and submitting to the political correctness of the media and the marketing schemes to promote consumerism. No worries though…the bible doesn’t forbid or require us to celebrate Christmas so there is nothing to lose. If Christmas is eventually completely lost in materialism and emptiness it doesn’t change the reality of Christ. If we lose Christmas we have lost nothing. If we lose Christ we have lost everything.
“Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men.”
Merry Christmas, BoB
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.
—Ruth 1:16
TODAY’S DARE
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
Love never fails.
—1 Corinthians 13:8
TODAY’S DARE
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
—Psalm 37:4
TODAY’S DARE
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father.
—Matthew 18:19
TODAY’S DARE
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
—Psalm 119:105
TODAY’S DARE
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
—Proverbs 15:22 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Find a marriage mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
